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Understanding Asexuality

We all know that the LGBTQ+ community is very diverse. There are many people that make up this community each with their own identities. There has been a lot more LGBTQ representation of the past few years in both film and media. That being said it's pretty clear that some members of our community are better represented than others. This is definitely true of the asexual community – although Alice Oseman’s work with Loveless and Heartstopper have definitely been noted!

What are Aces?

Asexuality is a term used to describe people who do not experience sexual attraction towards anyone of any gender. Asexuality is not to be confused with celibacy, as asexuality is a sexual orientation and not a personal choice. Asexual people are referred to as Aces. There are many different types of Aces and I don't mean an ace of hearts, spades or clubs! Asexuality covers a wide spectrum.

In a world that is obsessed with sex and reproduction, other forms of attraction are overlooked or are simply not spoken about as often. There are many different types of attraction such as:

Romantic Attraction

Attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons. This might seem fairly obvious but sexual attraction and romantic attraction don't necessarily have to go hand-in-hand with one another.

Aesthetic Attraction

When a person appreciates the appearance or beauty of another person in a way that is disconnected from sexual and romantic desire.

Sensual Attraction

The desire to physically interact with someone in a nonsexual way, such as holding hands or cuddling.

Emotional Attraction

The desire to get to know another person, usually as a result of their personality as opposed to them physically. This is present in most relationships from romantic and sexual relationships to platonic friendships.

Intellectual Attraction

The desire to engage someone in comversation to ‘pick their brain’, sharing thoughts and ideas with others and get to know their point of view.

Asexual people just like us are capable of experiencing all these other forms of attraction. Just because they don't have sex doesn't mean they don't have other intimate relationships, which is why Asexuality covers such a wide spectrum. We are all attracted to different things and open up to others at different times, and it's important to remember that regardless of sexuality, we all have limits and boundries when it comes to human interaction physical or emotional. With this in mind here are some terms used to describe people on the Ace spectrum:

Demisexual: people that only form a sexual attraction once they form a strong emotional connection with another person.

Grey-A: People who identify as being somewhere inbetween sexual and asexual.

Queerplatonic: People who experience a type of non-romantic relationship where there is an intense emotional connection that goes beyond a traditional friendship.

It's important to address the myths that exist about asexuality.

. Being ace isn't abstinence after a failed relationship

. Being ace isn't abstinence for religious reasons

. Being ace isn't celibacy

. Being ace isn't sexual repression, dysfunction or aversion

. Being ace isn't caused by a loss of libido due to age or circumstance

. Being ace isn't a person failing to find a partner

. Being ace isn't a fear of intimacy

Despite everything some aces may choose to do the following:

. Want understanding, friendship and empathy

. Experience orgasm or arousal

. Have a spouse or children

. Fall in love

. Choose not to engage in sexual activity

. Masturbate


So to conclude today's lesson!

Asexuals like all other members of the LGBTQ community are not broken and in need of fixing-they are perfect just the way they are. That being said, living as an asexual person in a world obsessed with sex and reproduction isn't easy, and it's important to remember that sex isn't everything. To quote the hit show Sex Education, "sex doesn't make us whole, and so how could you ever be broken?" What being a part of the LGBTQ community clearly demonstrates is that people are attracted to different things and have different types of relationships and there's nothing wrong with that. Variety is definitely the spice of life and the world would taste bland without our Ace buddies. Love is love, platonic or otherwise!

If you have anymore questions to ask about Asexuality please ask in the comments section or email us at for more asexual content 😁.


Understanding Asexuality

By The Trevor Project Year: 2021 Container: The Trevor Project URL:

'As an asexual person, Isaac's Heartstopper storyline felt like a warm hug'

Asexuality, Attraction, and Romantic Orientation

Asexuality. Sex Education clip

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